Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Water Stalker

So, it seems like I have a bit of a stalker issue going on at my job. It's no one at my company, but rather one of the messengers who works for the building.

This chatty messenger is really starting to weird me out. I have started writing down details of each encounter, should I end up brutally murdered, the police will have evidence to put him away forever.

Here's a backstory.

One day, he asked me if we had any water in the office. I was tempted to make him do tricks for it. I thought it was a little strange of him to ask. He changed his mind and told me he would take a rain check.


Last week he said to me, "I'll take that raincheck now." I had no idea what he was talking about.

I had to bring him to the kitchen and point him to our water filter. It was like when you're at a restaurant and some random kid has to pee and his parents are nowhere to be found. What do you do?

He made a lot of annoying small talk about the weather. I told him that I hate the heat and he asked me if I was a 'winter guy'.

"No, I hate winter."

"So you're a summer guy?"

"No. I hate extremes."

Today he arrived with a familiar envelope (payroll documents, yes!). I had a look of panic when I saw him step off the elevator. He asked me for water again, but I still had on my "oh, fuck" face.

He apologized for bothering me, but I just pointed him to the kitchen and told him to help himself. I told him that I needed to rush that envelope over to the appropriate department. He said he'd be very quiet, and he pretended to lock his mouth with a key.

On the way back, I heard the front door close, so I ducked into the dark copyroom and used the reflection of a nearby glass wall to my advantage.

"Get the fuck out of here, weirdo!" I whispered in the dark while waiting for him to get on the elevator.

Here the surveillance clip.

(image not to scale)


Hamamama said...

it starts with water, soon it will be a "drink" after work! watch out!

CT said...

I think you're selling yourself short on CAD abilities - that diagram looks like it's to scale!