I know that I bitch and complain about tourists here in NYC. I know that sometimes I wish they'd all single-file fall into an open sewer, but sometimes, I have pity on them.
I took a walk over to 8th avenue at lunch to check out bags at the Army and Navy store. On the way back to my office, I decided to walk into a souvenir shop to see just what kind of shit they sell in there.
And yes, it is shit. All of it. I thought it was interesting that people come all the way to NYC and feel compelled to buy shit that's Made in China.
I was captivated by the sheer volume of junk that filled the shelves of this store. As I laughed at it, I thought about how funny it is that, if I were in another country's crappy souvenir store, I'd probably be tempted to actually buy something. I know I was tempted in London and in Mexico. I remember Larry pulling me away from the souvenir store in London, as I reached for that Big Ben fridge magnet.
At the cashier, I overheard a woman in her 60s ask for directions to Bond 45, a very chic and delicious Italian restaurant that I have eaten at (courtesy of my amazing ex-boss).
Maybe I felt guilty for cursing so many tourists on my lunch break, but suddenly I thought, "I am going to help this woman. There is no way this man knows where that restaurant is. I am going to impress her and give her a story to tell when she gets back home."
"Are you looking for Bond 45 restaurant?"
"Okay, you are going to walk out and go straight down the block." And here, I pointed in the general direction while still inside the store. "It's on 45th and seventh avenue."
"Which side of the street."
"It will be on your right."
When you see the Swatch store, keep walking. It's right there."
"Oh, thank you."
And with that, I decided to leave. That was when I realized that I pointed the woman in the opposite direction.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with the city, here is a lovely map. The turquoise arrow is where I intended to send her. The purple arrow is probably where she went.
My mother always told me to mind my own business. This is probably what she meant.