Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Drug Store Douchebag

There are two drug stores in the area where I visit my parents.

One is the CVS I have mentioned before. Like here.

The other drug store, across the road, used to be a Genovese, then it became a lame Rite Aid and now it's in the process of becoming a new, much larger CVS.

Rather than move to the new location, CVS has decided against closing current location down in favor of keeping both open, in a ridiculous bid to keep out the competition (read: Walgreens)

As I walk into CVS to pick up a few items, I see a very familiar man. Back when Genovese drug stores was in business, this man worked there.

When that Genovese became Rite Aid, the man remained, as did most of the other staff.

Now that Rite Aid has been swallowed by CVS, the man has migrated over to the current location while the old Rite Aid/Flower shop/beauty parlor complex is gutted and transformed into the new Ultra CVS.

Where am I going with this? Oh, the man. That's it.

I have never liked this man. There is an air of arrogance around him at all times, mixed with an eternal "is that a shoplifter?" look on his face.

I don't know what he does, aside from stand around trying to look important and never making eye contact. Sometimes, when the cashiers are overwhelmed, he might jump in and try to help, but he mostly interferes and makes all the cashiers feel stupid.

I have to wonder how he ended up stuck in a crappy drug store retail career for so long. Does he have a passion for this line of work? Did he shoplift from a drug store as a kid and must now work in drug stores for the rest of his life in lieu of going to prison?

And then there's his appearance. No matter what time of year, he looks exactly the same. He wears a rumpled, white short sleeve shirt and what's probably a cheap, clip-on tie. He's tall, so the tie is never the right length, as it is today. He is business casual, on a dollar store budget.

Here is a still from the CVS surveillance video.

Here is why I wanted to punch him in his doughy gut.

I get on line and wait for a nearby register to open. Dumpy is there, trying to direct traffic, like it's Whole Foods or the bank.

"Right this way, Sir. Right this way, Sir." he barks. I fall for it, assuming that he knows what he is doing.

I walk towards him and wait for the next available cashier. The woman behind me sees an available cashier and takes it, while Dumpy attempts to stop her.

"Miss, miss..." he starts.

Obviously, Dumpy's lame and unnecessary attempt at crowd control has failed.

I let out a slow, "Yeeeeaaahhh," and walk away from him. Did I mention that when I first walked in, he was talking to some woman and, after shaking her young son's hand, just kept holding onto it? GROSS.


Hamamama said...

yes, yes, yes, i missed the illustrations!!! glad they're back! said...

You forgot about the short period when it was Eckerd, and I sooooooo know who ur talking about too.