Saturday, December 5, 2009

Yeah, I Said It

It's an annoyingly cold Saturday afternoon as I am running errands for my mother. She needs a couple of boxes of chocolates from CVS to give as presents.

There is no line as I walk into the store, so I rush to the candy aisle in an effort to get in and out as quickly as possible.

I pick out two boxes of Whitman's chocolates and rush to the front, where a long line has formed to punish me. How does this happen?

As I get to the head of the line, I hear a woman yell, "Next!" only her voice is coming from behind me.

The photo center is taking customers, and the cashier is waving me over. I try to rush over, squeezing my ass between a woman using the self-serve photo machine and a poorly placed rack of gift cards that threatens to tip over.

I should have just stayed on line. A dumb Russian woman is arguing with the cashier, claiming that she is next. But this cashier has been working for CVS forever. Nothing gets by her.

"No, you have to wait on line."

The woman just stares. She is playing stupid, probably hoping that the cashier will pity her and let her cut the line.

"You see that line over there? There's one line."

"I have to wait on nather line?" she asks. There is panic in her voice. In her head, this is punishment fit for a serial baby killer.

I have lost my patience. As if I had any to begin with.

"Yeah, yeah, get the hell outta here," I say, dismissing her outright and putting my boxes on the counter. I know she hears me, but I ignore her, bracing for her response. She says nothing. She will live.

Bitchiness. It's better than chocolate.

3 comments:

Hamamama said...

vat the fuck - this graphic is one of the funniest ones you have ever done. vat am i going to do with you -- so hilarious!!!

The Warden said...

That particular CVS ALWAYS has a long line. And then the cashiers ALWAYS ask each customer if they have a CVS discount card, do they want to buy a pack of tissues -- which of course slows the line down more.

Chris said...

If they're not asking if you'd like to donate a dollar to some random children's charity.