Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Tastes Like Chicken!

From the Daily News

A 74-year-old woman who was known for leaving food outside her home for bears — despite several warnings that it was illegal and dangerous to do so — was killed by one of the animals.

I have the feeling it went down like this:

(knock, knock)

WOMAN: Who is it?

BEAR: The bears.

WOMAN: Coming...

(opens door)

WOMAN: Yes, what is it?

BEAR: We want more food.

WOMAN: What?

BEAR: Did I studder? I said, we want more food, lady.

WOMAN: Don't I feed you enough?

BEAR: No. We want more food.

WOMAN: Look you ingrate, I left you 3 McDonalds hamburgers last night and an apple pie. I could have eaten that myself, you know.

BEAR: It's not enough. We want more food. Whaddya got in your fridge? I'm sure you could afford to skip a meal.

WOMAN: You know what? That's enough! I have had it with you freeloading bears! You hang around my house day and night, you don't contribute or help out in any way at all. Get the hell out of here and get a job!

BEAR: Oh, is that right?

WOMAN: Yes, that's right. Now get lost before I get the broom!

BEAR: You dropped something.

WOMAN: (looks down) Where? I don't see anything.

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