I'm driving to the supermarket with my father in his 1979 Cadillac. I really can't take this car any more.
Normally, he doesn't say anything as we float along, narrowly avoiding sideswiping other cars at 45 miles per hour and taking short cuts through the gas station to avoid waiting at the light.
He begins to tell me a horror story. It seems that one of his friends just found a 1979 Cadillac online. It has only 37,000 miles on it and is in excellent condition, even the interior. The man paid only $4,000 for it. This man's luck is my father's insane hope.
By comparison, this boat has over 200,000 miles on it, and is worth about 49 cents.
This story means a few things:
- There are other 1979 Cadillac Sedan De Villes out there.
- He can "upgrade" and still enjoy the same floaty suspension and bench seats.
- They haven't all been shipped to the Compton and converted into low-riders.
He ends by hinting that I should let him know if I ever come across a deal like that on the Internet. To this, I wanted to say, "Oh, didn't they tell you? They don't make the Internet anymore."
My only hope is for the Cash for Clunkers program to eliminate the rest of these boats, or at least eliminate enough to raise the value of the remaining models.