Thursday, January 22, 2009

To Your Health

Since I have nothing this week, I'm going to pass this along. Thanks to Lisa.

P.S. - Whoever typed this up with every word capitalized (so that I had to clean it up before posting it) is a surefire asshole.

P.P.S. - I look forward to trying out #3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 10, 11 & 14.

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.

7. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

8. Specify that your drive-through order Is 'To Go'.

9. Sing along at the opera.

10. Five days in advance, tell your friends that you can’t attend their party because you have a headache. .

11. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I Won! I Won!'

12. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, 'Run for your lives! They're loose!'

13. Tell your children over Dinner, 'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.'

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity…

14. Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.

3 comments: said...


Matt said...

I wanna know what #5 was ...

Chris said...

Oh, shit. I never saw that.