Monday, November 3, 2008

Why Not Just Put it on the Windshield?

We're speeding along the Cross Island Parkway on the way to Long Beach. Both of us are starving, so I overlook Larry's insane driving.

As we overtake a gray SUV, my eyes pop out of my head with disbelief. Allow me to explain.

Here is an SUV. Note the lack of fender vents on this model. Because most SUV owners are desperately trying to be something they're not, many have resorted to applying tacky aftermarket fender vents. These are applied with double face tape and serve no function, being purely comical decorative.

Below is the preferred location for said "decoration." Please excuse the lazy photoshopping. As you can see, it is on the fender, where a real vent might actually have been installed by the manufacturer. It doesn't matter how cheap and tacky it looks. None of that matters, because the addition of a faux fender vent just screams, "badass," even on the girliest of cars.

Click Read More to find out just why I had to bite my tongue, and why I'll never forgive myself for not taking out my cell phone camera fast enough.

That's right, it was on the fucking DOOR. Had I been driving, I'd have run this car off the road.


Hamamama said...

decaf is back!!!!

Glory von Hathor said...

I don't know what a fender vent is. It looks like gills on the side of a shark, in which case, putting them on the door is never going to help the ventral aorta.

My rule of thumb is that if you're going to put a stick on transfer on anything, it must be a sailor's tattoo.