Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Mrs. Potato Head

I steer the cart towards the dreaded self-checkout. Because I consider myself to be more computer literate than Larry, we often bicker, with me trying to correct his scanning style and him losing patience over the machine's speed.

As we wait for an available machine, my eyes fall upon a woman in a hideous outfit. Just try to imagine the following combination:

A flowy, knee length black skirt
A fitted, black, long sleeve top
Black stockings
Leapoard print platform shoes
A black bubble vest

The thing that stood out about her the most? That she was trying to scan a potato - without a bar code.

Oh, what the hell, I'll draw you a picture:

I figured that maybe she had just gotten off the plane from Tackytackistan and spoke no English, but when the attendant came over to assist her I overheard her voice. Perfect English.

Why do the most computer illiterate, stupid people among us think that they can manage these things and get out of the store that much quicker?

Of course, I whispered to Larry, "That idiot just tried to scan a potato!" which caught the attention of another customer who seemed just as confused.

3 comments: said...

lordy lordy

1Letterman said...

When the cashiers or managers suggest that I use the self-scan process, I always respond, "Fuck you. I don't work here. YOU work here. Knock five bucks off my price and I'll do your job for you."

Luckily, when I move back to Indiana, the farmers actually bring the produce to the back of your truck, so there's no problem with self-scan.

Chris said...

Unfortunately, self-checkout has become a Godsend in this day of lazy, stupid, or bitchy cashiers. My local Gristedes seems to have a preference for only hiring militant lesbians with tattooed necks.