I am on the N train heading back to Chelsea. The benches on this train are divided by poles which essentially split each bench into two groups of three.
At 59th Street, an enormous man gets on and sits next to me. At first, I'm annoyed, but then I realize that he is so massive, there is no way anyone can sit between us. We both have a little extra elbow room.
Until 49th street. The doors open and a short tourist comes racing on and jams her fat little ass between us.
I should have thrown her on the floor.