I'm at the dollar store and I need two things: Crazy Glue and a rubber spatula.
Unfortunately, the spatulas are stiff and brittle, so I pass on them. I can't seem to find the Crazy Glue, so I decide to leave, but not before heading down the glassware aisle. Cheap glasses are great bases for mosaic candle holders.
I'm eyeing the selection of glasses and fugly vases when I hear a familiar, Greek voice. It's my mother's neighbor from across the street. I avoid this woman (and all other Greek speaking women) like the plague.
Why? Because they have an annoying tendency to speak to me solely in Greek, when they know I don't speak a word back. In fact, it's getting worse with each second.
I respond to her hello, hoping she will leave me alone. She doesn't. She asks me something about my mother. I say that she's doing okay. She asks another question and I think she is saying something about not having seen her in a while.
This is getting awkward - fast.
She points to some glasses on the top shelf. They are fugly, cheap Christmas glasses. I pull one down for her, but she wants three of them. God only knows why. It's fucking September, crazy lady, I want to say.
"Oh, this eh byootifoo," she says. Translation: Oh my, aren't these wonderful?
I slink away as her attention is on the glasses. I don't even remember the Greek would for goodbye, so I can't even do that right.
Here is a still from the surveillance video.