Thursday, September 25, 2008

Weekend Update 4: Why I Need Rosetta Stone

I'm at the dollar store and I need two things: Crazy Glue and a rubber spatula.

Unfortunately, the spatulas are stiff and brittle, so I pass on them. I can't seem to find the Crazy Glue, so I decide to leave, but not before heading down the glassware aisle. Cheap glasses are great bases for mosaic candle holders.

I'm eyeing the selection of glasses and fugly vases when I hear a familiar, Greek voice. It's my mother's neighbor from across the street. I avoid this woman (and all other Greek speaking women) like the plague.

Why? Because they have an annoying tendency to speak to me solely in Greek, when they know I don't speak a word back. In fact, it's getting worse with each second.

I respond to her hello, hoping she will leave me alone. She doesn't. She asks me something about my mother. I say that she's doing okay. She asks another question and I think she is saying something about not having seen her in a while.

This is getting awkward - fast.

She points to some glasses on the top shelf. They are fugly, cheap Christmas glasses. I pull one down for her, but she wants three of them. God only knows why. It's fucking September, crazy lady, I want to say.

"Oh, this eh byootifoo," she says. Translation: Oh my, aren't these wonderful?

I slink away as her attention is on the glasses. I don't even remember the Greek would for goodbye, so I can't even do that right.

Here is a still from the surveillance video.


Anonymous said...

No te olvides que tambien necesitas uno en español para cuando vallas a puerto vallarta.

Chris said...

I'll translate: Next time you need Spanish olives you should go to Puerto Vallarta.

Am I right? Did I win?

Anonymous said...

No Señor, I say "Do not forget that you also need one(rosetta estone)in spanish for when you go to a puerto vallarta.

vidis said...

I think the words your were looking for were Ya sas vroma poutana

joe*to*hell said...

or losetta stone for any asian ranguage

i live for these drawings....


ps - why would she want three? who buys odd numbers?

Chris said...

Cragy people, Joe. Cragy pepor buy in odd numbers. said...

LOL @ the post & "rosetta estone" & "ya sas vroma poutana" said...
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