Thursday, August 14, 2008

Don't Forget to Sign the Waiver

Over the last week, I've been slowly starting to work out again. The stress of the pending apartment renovations had given me a lame excuse to stay home, eat and feel sorry for myself. In short, I've been living like a pathetic hermit for months now.

But since returning to Bally's Gym and House of Idiots, I've noticed a huge boost in energy (as well as a level temperament). Good ol' endorphins.

So, I'm on the stationary bike, pedaling away and watching Wheel of Fortune on the LCD screen when I see something out of the corner of my eye.

A trainer by the name of Julie had reinforced my disgust for personal trainers when she decided, "You know what, to hell with all the abdominal machines downstairs, I think my client should drop and give me twenty sit ups, right here on the dirty floor in her white tank top just inches away from the speeding treadmills. Besides, it's not like the huge guy stomping away on that treadmill isn't going to lose his balance and come hurtling backward at her, crushing her skull with a size 12 Nike, or that her long hair wouldn't get snagged in the spinning belt just inches away, causing her head to be ripped off and flung about the room, spraying blood everywhere."

There was no accident, but it all seemed like a scene out of Final Destination. A gym member sneezes, farts, or drips water on a piece of equipment, which starts off a violent chain reaction leading to the death of everyone inside as well as millions of dollars in damage (with a couple of fireballs thrown in for effect).

What are these personal trainers thinking? I seriously wanted to walk up to her and say, "You are a fucking idiot. Do you know how stupid you are?"

But I didn't. I just channeled my anger into the pedals on my bike and finished my workout.

I find it incredible that just because these people are wearing tight red "personal trainer" t-shirts, that idiots throw their faith behind them, not even questioning the logic of being forced to do steps on the stairs for exercise instead of, say, a StairMaster.



Anonymous said...

Cardio boxing training classes and the innovative variations of the sparring jabs, power punches, defense, and fitness has all blends of aerobics exercises. You will learn the proper execution of the punch and kick combinations for a more intensive workout that can help you become stronger and more confident. You can get more information about gym Equipment which I browsed on internet can fetch you help.

Vidis said...

Last Friday as I swiped my card through that pathetic turnstile, it beeped and the display said "see front desk" - I was pissed because I was sure that it had something to do with the idiot staff member who "updated" my credit card info the day before.

I huffed and I'm sure my face got red (I HATE being stopped) as I held up my card up and told them I had to see them - the balls! - They asked me if I'd like to make a donation to the Lou Gehrig Fund and they held up a jar.

I was like, what?! and said NO, I just want to work out, and he said again, are you sure - and I rolled my eyes and said NO I JUST WANT TO WORK OUT!

He said have a good workout and I just went around the ropes downstairs – almost pushed a bitch that was training on the steps with her 1/2 lb weights.

Isn't what they did kinda harassment?
I should've said if you want a donation, take it from the enormous fee I pay you assholes every month!