I am paying my telephone bill online when I run into blockade. As part of the enhanced security measures for this company, I am required to re-confirm my identity with them.
(It wasn't an email scam, as I had gone directly to their website.)
Here is where I ran into some trouble. Check out this screen capture.
Because of the way my brain is wired, I looked at this list and immediately panicked. Each question had multiple answers.
Q: What is the last name of your best friend?
A: Did I answer this question? Did I leave it blank? And if I did answer it, who the hell did I write in? And am I still friends with this person? Did I consider them a best friend and now I don't? Next question!
Q: What is your favorite food?
A: Did I seriously answer this? Or was I in a sarcastic mood that day and just write, "All"? Good God. Next!
Q: What company did you first work for?
A: Did I skip over my first 5 embarrassing "must-forget-they-ever-happened" jobs and skip to the present? Or did I answer it correctly?
Q: What is the title of your favorite book?
A: Stupid question, because each year, new books come out that take the place of last year's favorites. Next!
Q: What is the name of your first pet?
A: Please, I have suppressed so many memories from my childhood that this would have been possible to answer correctly.
Q: What is the name of your first school?
A: Well, I don't really count my first three traumatic years in Greek school, often telling people that I went to a Catholic school instead. So, God only knows what I really said.
Maybe I'll just wait for the paper bill to arrive in the mail.