Thursday, July 31, 2008

How Much for a Sugar Packet?

To the Nickel-and-Diming Bastards at My Most Favorite Food,

First, off, your name is just so stupid. You should have kept it at My Most Favorite Dessert Company and left it at that. Your new name sounds like something a 2-year old might babble out after splattering spaghetti all over the walls from his high chair.

Second, there are several reasons my office doesn't use you on a frequent basis. You are overpriced and your food is bland. Your cupcakes in particular are disgusting, with a strange bitter aftertaste and "crunchy" frosting that leaves grease all over your hands. Also, your help is frequently surly and short over the phone. Your delivery guys simply drop the bags on the table in the conference room and leave, rather than set the platters out like EVERY OTHER CATERER IN NYC.

That said, you may be the ONLY restaurant in Manhattan to charge $2.50 per person for some fucking plates and napkins, rather than include them automatically. Are your customers the type who simply spill the food onto the table just shove their faces into it?

And the absense of a catering menu on your website is highly suspicious. What are you trying to hide?

Keep your plates, cheapskates.


Hamamama said...

love it -- calling out the name of the place, and you're right -- the cheesiest name ... EVER

Eli said...

Dude, that is so not KOSHER