Friday, May 2, 2008
Where's a Falling Anvil When You Need One?
I don't think you know me, but I know you. At least a little bit. You see, I came across an article on the NY Daily News website about Madonna's personal trainer. Since pretty much any article on their website has a comments section, I scrolled down to read them. This is what you wrote, verbatim:
"This b i t c h CAN'T sing, dance or act.... in fact the only thing she has been good at is..... A. lying on her back (get mah drift) and marketing her S K A N K Y A S S. No talent whoore!"
After I stopped foaming at the mouth and seething, I clicked, "POST COMMENT" and came up with my official reply. Because the website is obviously screwed up at the moment, I can not post it there. So I'll post it here. Enjoy. You fuck.
"Really, "ThatGuy"? No talent? Well, I guess the millions of us who buy her records and go to her sold-out shows must be wrong, then. I mean, she's almost 50 and she's still making headlines and selling out shows. She's been with the same record label for 25 years. She's changed the world and entertained MILLIONS, but yeah, you're right. She totally sucks and she's a total (as you so eloquently put it) "whoore". Tell me, ThatGuy, what will YOU be remembered for when you're 50? Please, list your accomplishments here so that we may compare the two of you, head to head, "World Class Game Changing Icon" versus "unemployed illiterate internet comment board idiot." Obviously, you are way better than Madonna in every conceivable way. I mean, you must be, because you trashed her, right here, on the esteemed and widely read Daily News comment board. Not in Vanity Fair, not on MTV, not on CNN, not on stage in Wembley stadium, not at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, not on your new CD, but right here, under what must be your real name. Am I right?"