Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Run, Johnny, Run
To the Screeching Betch Outside Barnes & Noble at Lunch:
Thank you for screaming, "WHY!?" into your cellphone at the exact moment I passed you in the street. My ears are still ringing.
Here is the dialogue that I can imagine preceded your little outburst.
YOU: Johnny, are you coming over tonight?
YOU: How come?
JOHNNY: Well, I don't know if I can handle you.
YOU: What? What the hell does that mean? I am I too much for you to handle in bed? What are you, a big homo?
JOHNNY: You wish, Annie. Actually...I think we should break up.
YOU: WHY!? (here would be the outburst in question)
JOHNNY: Because you're a self-centered, flip-flop wearing, cell-phone yakking, oblivous cow. *click*