Friday, April 25, 2008

Shadow, You Bring Out My Emotional Side

Dear Shadow,

I must say, when you knocked over that heavy chair at 5:00 a.m., I had mixed emotions.

Shock. What the fuck was that?

Fear. Did you break the mirrored closet door? Where are you? Did you get crushed under the chair?

Relief. Whew. You're hiding under the bed.

Annoyance. You are such an asshole.

Astonishment. Wow. After a year of practice, you've finally gained enough weight to knock that heavy chair completely over, instead of just teetering at a 45 degree angle and then slamming back down. Every single fucking night. I'm putting you on a diet. No more Fancy Feast for you.

1 comment:

Steph said...

Awesome...glad to hear that someone else's cat is as annoying as mine at night!