Friday, April 11, 2008

No, Really, the Titanic is Completely Safe

Yesterday, I couldn't wait to go home and sleep, having only gotten 3 hours total sleep the night before. It's amazing what a lack of sleep will do to your brain. What? You don't know how much a stamp costs? What time do you get off work?

5:30 couldn't have come fast enough. I left work, desperate to get some catch up sleep. Since it was 75 degrees, I knew that there would be double the amount of idiotic tourists clogging up the streets, so I decided to walk an extra block west, to 10th.

Fact: I hate tourists. Especially how they stroll the sidewalks like they're on the promenade deck of the fucking Titanic. All they need are some parasols and puffy dresses and they're set. Bastards. If only there were a way to corral them all and put them on a boat and leave them there.

Fact: I am prone to making bad decisions, as I don't have ESP. I decided I'd walk down 10th avenue, in a desperate attempt at avoiding people.

Fact: I officially hate Port Authority more than Penn Station. This is because, while I may have avoided the hordes of tourists on 9th, 8th and 7th avenues, I had the pleasure of inhaling the diesel exhaust from about 300 buses all lined up on 10th avenue, as well as the side streets from 42nd all the way down to 35th. All were idling while they waited to enter Port Authority bus station. It was fucking ENDLESS.

When I finally got home, I fell into bed and slept for three hours. Larry was already asleep on the couch, so I had the bed all to myself.

I woke up and realized that I have to clean the apartment for guests we're having tonight.

"Larry, when do you want to start cleaning up?"
"I'm off tomorrow. I'll take care of it."

Why do I have the feeling I'm not going to be in a good mood when I get home tonight? ESP?

1 comment:

Hamamama said...

Can Larry come over and clean my place? Great, thanks.