Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Paula Deen: Sweet Old Lady? Or Serial Killer?

Dear Paula Deen,

Confession: My mom is one of your biggest fans. She adores your home-style charm, your sense of humor, and your passion for life.

However, one look at this recipe has convinced me that underneath the friendly persona of a Southern gal lies the hints at what's to come. Murder.

Don't scoff at me, you came up with this recipe, which I've heard described as "vomitrocious."

Let me break it down for you: bacon and eggs are for breakfast, burgers are for lunch, and glazed donuts are for never, yet you have somehow managed to combine all of them into something ironically called the Lady's Brunch burger. I don't dare want to see the Ladies that inspired this mess.

The Lady's Brunch Burger (please keep a barf bag handy)


* 1 1/2 lb ground beef
* 3 tablespoon freshly chopped parsley leaves
* 2 tablespoon grated onion
* House Seasoning
* 2 tablespoon butter
* 3 eggs
* 6 slices bacon, cooked
* 3 hamburger buns
* 3 english muffins
* 6 glazed donuts


Mix the ground beef, chopped parsley and grated onion together in a large mixing bowl. Season liberally, with House Seasoning. Form 3 hamburger patties.

Heat a large cast iron skillet over medium-high heat and spray with non-stick cooking spray. Add the burgers and cook until desired temperature, 4 to 5 minutes per side for medium-rare.

Fry bacon in a hot pan until crisp. Remove and drain on paper towels. Set aside.

While burgers are cooking, heat a non-stick pan, over medium heat. Add 2 tablespoons butter. Crack 3 eggs into the pan. Cook until the yolks are just set and still slightly runny and remove.

Place burger patties on English muffins or buns, and if desired, on glazed donuts, as the buns. Top each burger with 2 pieces of bacon and a fried egg.

Prep Time - 10 minutes
Cook Time - 15 minutes
Yield - 3 servings
Difficulty - Easy

Paula, please do yourself a favor: start taking your meds again, or just blame this one on Alzheimer's.

(Lori, thanks for the tip. You're on a roll this week)


Matt said...

Okay ... this will show my Midwestern roots ...

In a particularly hungry (and maybe hungover) day, I could see eating this. On the english muffin.

The glazed donut part makes my stomach churn. Hopefully that redeems me a bit ...

Chris said...

Yes, I would agree that the glazed donut is what makes you think, She's joking, right?

nikoeternal.com said...

Don't blame Paula, some restaurant chain came up with the galzed donut burger well before her!

nikoeternal.com said...

and glazed too!

Chris said...

How did it taste, Niko?

nikoeternal.com said...

LOL I'm vegan honey, and I don't eat wheat either! I saw it on AOL.