Friday, February 22, 2008

Pity Dish

I never thought I'd be writing about a positive cooking experience, but maybe the Cooking Gods decided to take pity on me last night as I pulled that last can of Chef Boyardee macaroni and cheese out of the pantry.

What should we do about him?

Let's cut him some slack tonight.

You think so? I enjoy watching him fuck it up.

He's suffered enough. Remember the fish story?

Oh my God.

I cracked open the lid and cringed. You should know that it smells disgusting when cold. I can't even begin to describe it. (It doesn't help that this was a pull-top can, which makes me think I'm about to eat dog food)

But then, a winter miracle of sorts happened. I realized that I have the capacity to learn from mistakes, much like a baby won't touch that hot stove again.

So I trotted over to the laptop and Googled "macaroni and cheese" to see what ingredients I might be able to toss in to salvage what would otherwise be a vicious assault on my taste buds.

After reading the ingredients in a few recipes, I went to the cupboard to see how many of those spices I had on hand. Then I grabbed a Corelle baking dish and dumped the can of Mac & "Chemically-enhanced lab Cheese" into it. To this, I added cumin (never used that before), onion powder, garlic powder, parmesan cheese, Cholula hot sauce, and black pepper. I mixed it up and topped it with a few slices of American cheese from the deli counter.

I put the baking dish into the toaster oven (with absolutely no room to spare) and turned it to "broil." When the cheese started to brown, I pulled it out. The cheese was bubbly and it smelled pretty good. But smells can be deceiving, as I've discovered.

I bravely inserted my fork and braced for impact. How soon will I be tossing the hot, steaming mess into the trash can? Will I have to throw the dish out too? How can I blame this all on the cat?

To my utter shock, it was delicious, if a bit greasy from the melted American cheese. If you don't like spice, you would be seriously turned off here. It tasted nothing like it normally would out of the can. A culinary victory.

So, if the folks over at Chef Boyardee are reading this, maybe they should take a hint and spice things up.

And to the cooking gods, I say, "Thank you for the pity dish."

3 comments: said...

I can't believe u added cheese to mac and cheese lol.

PS "had on hand" not "had on had" :-P

Chris said...

No, I added cheese to "fake cheese sauce."

And now it's "had on hand."

Grammar Nazi strikes again. said...