Thursday, February 21, 2008

Eat Your Heart Out, Rachel Ray


This disgusting faux garlic bread will impress no one. It's perfect for getting rid of houseguests or convincing your spouse that he or she should do the cooking from now on.

Crappy Faux Garlic Bread

Ingredients
Leftover whole wheat bread (2 slices, one should be the end piece that no one likes)
Olive oil
Garlic salt (ignoring real garlic clove in refrigerator)
Parmesan cheese (low-end crap from a can)
Toaster oven
Aluminum foil

1. Ignore readily available internet, potential source for great garlic bread recipe.

2. Fill small plate with olive oil. Eyeball it, because measuring is for suckers.

3. Drop slice of bread face-down into oil. Allow oil to soak up. Turn slice of bread face up and place onto sheet of aluminum foil. The aluminum foil will help to avoid a massive oil fire in toaster oven. Pat self on back for saving apartment and not killing cat.

4. Sprinkle slices with garlic salt and parmesan cheese, hoping that the chunks that fall out of the can will simply melt nicely into the bread.

5. Carefully drop sheet of aluminum foil containing bread onto toaster oven rack. Allow to toast for one cycle, or until edges of toast begin to burn. Discover that olive oil doesn't evaporate, rather, it bubbles and fries.

6. Wonder what to do about leftover olive oil on plate. Take advantage of being home alone and taste via licking. Grimace and toss plate into kitchen sink.

7. Remove Faux Garlic Bread from toaster oven and eat. Curse self for being stupid. Memorize ingredients for future blog post.

1 comment:

nikoeternal.com said...

LOL just replace the garlic salt with a fresh garlic rub and bits of crushed garlic and u should be good to go for the next time.