Friday, January 11, 2008

Spike TV: We're Banking On Your Stupidity

Dear Spike TV,

In searching for something to watch tonight, I came across “When Good Pets Go Bad 2”.

Luckily, I tuned in just in time. A virtual blizzard of fast-paced clips whizzed by, set to dramatic music and a voice-over designed to strike fear into the hearts of any viewer. I saw a kangaroo, a gorilla, a lion and a snake all within the 30 second intro and became confused. I picked up the remote, pressed "guide" again, just to double-check the name of the show. Hmmm, I thought. When Good Pets Go Bad 2. I changed the channel.

Guess what, Spike TV? Are you ready?

Those are not pets.
Those are not pets.

Please leave the address to your studio in the comments. I need to stop by and slap beat the shit out of every single one of you.


2 comments: said...

How odd! I dreamed there were lions and tigers, monkeys, and giant parrots in my yard last night lol

1Letterman said...

Any clown with a lion or tiger as a pet frankly deserves to get mauled.

And while we're on the subject, I have no need to go to the zoo. They have enough nature documentaries to make me happy for eternity.

The documentaries, I have found, contain none of the odor or claws that come with big things which can eat you.