Friday, January 11, 2008

Spike TV: We're Banking On Your Stupidity


Dear Spike TV,

In searching for something to watch tonight, I came across “When Good Pets Go Bad 2”.

Luckily, I tuned in just in time. A virtual blizzard of fast-paced clips whizzed by, set to dramatic music and a voice-over designed to strike fear into the hearts of any viewer. I saw a kangaroo, a gorilla, a lion and a snake all within the 30 second intro and became confused. I picked up the remote, pressed "guide" again, just to double-check the name of the show. Hmmm, I thought. When Good Pets Go Bad 2. I changed the channel.

Guess what, Spike TV? Are you ready?

Those are not pets.
Those are not pets.
Those are NOT FUCKING PETS!

Please leave the address to your studio in the comments. I need to stop by and slap beat the shit out of every single one of you.

Kisses!
Chris

2 comments:

nikoeternal.com said...

How odd! I dreamed there were lions and tigers, monkeys, and giant parrots in my yard last night lol

1Letterman said...

Any clown with a lion or tiger as a pet frankly deserves to get mauled.

And while we're on the subject, I have no need to go to the zoo. They have enough nature documentaries to make me happy for eternity.

The documentaries, I have found, contain none of the odor or claws that come with big things which can eat you.