Thursday, January 10, 2008

Reaching for the Stars


Dear Starbucks,

Now, while I don't consider myself to be much of an entrepreneur, I do occassionally come up with an idea that I think might help solve a problem in this great city of ours.

Today's idea is this: The Express Lane. The concept is very simple and very feasable for your stores with more than one cash register. The Express Lane will be for people like me who drink no-frills, regular coffee and don't need to wait on the side like a goon while their order is "custom made" by a "barista".

Two high energy people will man this Express Lane. One will take the orders and collect the money, the other will pour the coffee into the cup.

Anyone attempting to order anything with the word "latte" will be sent hurtling to their deaths via trap door. Customers with pre-paid Starbucks cards will receive discounts. There will be no tip cup on this line.

Please let me know when you plan on implementing this idea at your West 45th Street location. I'll be first in line.

Thank you,
Chris

6 comments:

nikoeternal.com said...

So basically what ur saying is u actually want to pay even MORE than what they're charging you NOW!

Chris said...

No, stupid. I just think I should have to wait for people ahead of me to spit out their ridiculous 15 word drink orders.

Have you been using drugs? Because I thought my post was clear.

nikoeternal.com said...

So I take it you think you're NOT going to be the one paying for the 2 extra employees? O:-)

nikoeternal.com said...

.....and since ur so quick to call me stupid, why dont u stop being a pretentious little manhattanite sucker and buy some freakin nescafe from ur supermarket like i started doin long ago! 100 cups for the price of 2 sounds like a good deal to me!!!!!

Chris said...

I'm going to come over there with a baseball bat. Please leave your front door open.

This Express Lane would require removing two people from the slow "regular" line. So it would cost NOTHING. Those craving custom orders would suffer until they gave in and started drinking regular plain old coffee.

Satisfied? Douche.

nikoeternal.com said...

wow u sure let things fester lol