Tuesday, January 29, 2008

It's Like a See Saw, Stupid

The gym. So good for you. Such great material.

Dear Negative IQ Dolts,

You are all fucking idiots. Here is the proof.

Last night, while using a nearby machine, I watched the three of as you decided that the standard weight stack on the overhead press machine (shown, above) was not enough and that you were going to challenge said machine. Dolts. It was soon apparent that none of you had ever seen one of these machines in action before.

Here's the proof: While Dolt #1 sat on the only seat the machine is designed for, Dolt #2 decided that he would somehow balance his stupid ass on the rear of the machine, on the counter weight, putting his feet on the machine behind it for balance.

I have to say, it was very very hard to resist getting up to tell you three shit bags that, in fact, by your friend sitting on the counterweight, he's not causing the resistance to go up, but quite the opposite. The mechanics are quite simple. It's sort of like a fucking see-saw. And since the three of you likely just came from a playground, you should have known better.

I don't know why no one was around to yell for you to stop. I guess that's what security cameras are for. So when you dare to sue Bally's, they can whip out the tape and show that it was your stupidity that caused the enormous head trauma that was sure to follow. (In thinking this, I realized that I would need to run out of the room to avoid getting a weight plate chucked at me for laughing at you goons.)

In any event, Dolt #2 positioned himself and gave Dolt#1 the okay to go. I prayed for maximum carnage here. Dolt #1 pushed up on the machine and Dolt#2 realized his mistake. "Oh. It ain't work." I'm sure he felt very stupid, because he looked very stupid. I imagine his IQ level is that of a pencil eraser. (please see above image for further explanation)

Please come back to the gym tonight. I would like to watch the three of you try to race each other on the treadmill.


nikoeternal.com said...

Boys *sigh*
PS "I overheard the three of as you decided that the standard weight stack on the overhead... "

Love always,
Your favorite proofreader O:-)

Chris said...