Friday, January 18, 2008

Junk Fax Design 101: Travel

Hello, class. Welcome to Junk Fax Design 101. Today, we will go over the basics of junk fax design when promoting lame vacation deals. Follow these simple rules and they'll be banging down your door.

1. Generate Excitement - Use as many different typefaces as possible, short of giving yourself a seizure. Randomly italicize words or entire sentences.

2. Convey a Sense of Urgency - Disregard spelling, especially for words that are in the fine print, such as "1rst". There is no limit on the number of exclamation points you can use.

3. Sound Important When You're Not - Compose the header of your junk fax to fool the recipient that this is indeed a faxed memo from their corporate travel department, even though they may not have a corporate travel department and receive all their messages via email.

4. Be Accessible - Include a "toll-free" number at the bottom, even though it's really $3.95 per minute and will be charged to whatever company you're sending this junk fax to.

5. Appearance is Everything - Center all the text on the document. Centered text is eye-catching and very underutilized.

6. Be Persuasive - Use cliche catch-phrases like, "Space is limited, so call today." This will trick them into believing they're missing out on the deal of a lifetime.

7. Be Mysterious - Leave out any identifying characteristics, such as the company name or website address.

8. Reel Em In - Offer a complicated "package" with at least six high-profile destinations. Set the price unrealistically low and make sure that it's set to the largest typeface on the page.

(click to enlarge)

4 comments: said...

$99??????? I'M SOOOOOOO DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!

dave in milwaukee said...

It may be against the law to send this kind of crap. For further information, see:

Chris said...

I don't get that many, so I'm saving the ones I think are the funniest for this blog where I will rip them a new one.

If you can't beat em, blog em.

1Letterman said...

I don't really feel comfortable composing a fax unless I utilize each one of the fonts on my Mac.

I think it was Saul Bass who said, "Make sure to use so many fonts your fax looks like a ransom note."