Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Holiday Wishes

Dear Santa,

I don't think I've asked for too much lately, so I think I'm owed a few things. Please get back to me and let me know if there's anything on this list that is excessive. I don't really think any of it is, but if I have to compromise, then so be it.

I demand would like (in no particular order):

1. New upstairs neighbors, hopefully a single man or woman one who is never home.

2. A muscular body. Not too muscular, just toned enough to show through a heavy ribbed turtleneck sweater and turn some heads.

3. Silence. Enough to get back into writing.

4. A 42 inch Sony Bravia HD TV with a swivel mount (shown).

5. Sleep, 8 hours in a row without my crazy cat bolting around the apartment for no reason and without that SheBeast on 4 running amok.

6. A vacation, one that requires a passport, sun tan lotion and a bathing suit.

7. To finish my book and start on another, without second-guessing every word.

8. Friends who I can talk to without feeling like I don't make nearly as much money as they do.

9. Patience in dealing with tourists in the street.

10. Advanced Photoshop skills.

11. The ability to cook something with more than three ingredients.

12. A sense of style.

13. A 2008 Cadillac CTS. In black. Or silver. Or red. It's your call.

14. The ability to give someone the evil eye via email.

15. Free Starbucks coffee, waiting on my desk for me when I get to work without having to wait on line with 65 clueless tourists.

Thank you for your time.
Chris

3 comments:

nikoeternal.com said...

ugh @ u writing in advance and posting them in bulk! GRRRRR

Chris said...

You're just jealous because you can't post shit until January.

nikoeternal.com said...

lmao