Monday, November 5, 2007


So, when I got home from the gym tonight, I heard the upstairs neighbor stomping around as she usually does. She just moved in with the guy who owns the apartment and seems to have cinderblocks for feet.

Friday night was particularly bad, with the long silence broken by a sudden heavy stampede upstairs at 11:00 pm. This provoked Larry to scream, "Stop thumping around up there, you fucking assholes!" at the vent in the kitchen wall. This worked for about ten minutes. Then we heard the squeaking of the bed up there.

Now, when it comes to wheather or not these two freak procreate, I'm torn. On the one hand, I'd hate to see their DNA passed on and released out into the world. On the other, if she gets preggers, that studio apartment will suddenly become way too small for them and out they go.

Unless she falls on her stomach and cracks her skull open while running around the apartment.

Since Larry wasn't home, I decided that I needed to do something. I mean enough already. I don't have the clout to complain to the board, so I decided to do something else. Now my default reaction to these people is not pretty, as you may have read from previous posts. But while it might be fun to visualize an out of control MTA bus aiming for the two of them, or a steel beam falling from 35 floors, neither one is going to happen anytime soon.

So, I picked up a sheet of paper and wrote this:

Please let your girlfriend know that her walking style is rather heavy.
We realize you live here too, but the noise created is quite disruptive after a long day at work.
Thank you,

It's been a half our since I slipped the note under their door. I haven't heard a peep. I wonder if they'll submit it to I've been dying to get featured on that website.

2 comments: said...

lol i guess thats all u had to do in the first place. good note... concise, polite and effective. too bad there may be no more stories about them, they were my faves! lol

Chris said...

Please. They'll be good for about two or three weeks and then all hell will break loose.