Since it was my daydream, I would be the featured speaker, taking the stage to thunderous applause. I would be giving a speech on the creative process involved in blogging, the hardships, the obstacles, the rush of a completed post, with a debate over the necessity of allowing comments.
Maybe there would be a Q&A at the end, with people asking questions like, "What's your IQ? You just seem brilliant to me." A long-stemmed rose might shoot past me as I answered, "I can't say. I don't want to crush you." I would be dizzy from all the flashbulbs going off and have to leave early, causing one girl in the front row to break into hysterics.
Clearly, I was delusional, but it was an interesting idea--in concept.
So, imagine my shock, when I came across a website advertising just such an event (sans the Q&A all about me). It would be held in NYC (so it would require no hotel stay on my part), and it would be a chance to mingle with bellow bloggers while subtly promoting myself (via You May Also Like Buttons and fridge magnets).
As I read the details of the event, my excitement fizzled. Though it was in NYC, they had no venue, even though it was four months away (really? not even a vague idea?). They also had no formal events lined up, just a "mixer" on Friday night, "an event" on Saturday afternoon, and (hold your hats) a "special event" on Saturday evening.
Though these events sounded as impressive as a vague cocktail party thrown with a case of beer and a CD player, this didn't stop them from charging $350 dollars (for the weekend) and $200 (for a single day). This was what drew my cursor to the little X in the upper right corner of my screen. Fuck that.
In 1999, my friend threw a Madonna convention in the conference room of some mid-town hotel across from Madison Square Garden. There were about 100 people, performers (including Madonna's back up singer Donna DeLory), and games. Keep in mind that this person also worked a full-time job. Admission was just $15. Sure there was no booze, but at least no one had to scrape $350.00 together for a vague event with nothing lined up. And sure, Michael Musto showed up and called the event sad. But at least he came.
Call me cheap and bitter, but I smell a scam. WTF, man, W.T.F.?