Sunday, November 18, 2007

Misc. Complaints: Weekend Edition

Dear MTA,

It was nice of you to finally send those two subway trains into the Ditmars Blvd station last night. My face was only slightly windburned this time.

Oh, was this the first time you guys had to figure out which train should pull out first? You'll have to forgive my impatience, then.
Well, anyway, winter's coming! And that means it's stinky, disease-ridden, crazy homeless season! Here's an idea! Try getting them off the trains before paying customers get on. It's a good idea to do this now, before the fares go up.

Dear Subway "Musician" #1,

Fuck you and your stupid flute. No, I don't want to hear your little practice session, but it was entertaining to watch you stop and hide the flute at your side at each station stop to avoid a fine from the transit police. I am now partially deaf from having to crank up my iPod to drown you out.

Dear Subway "Musicians" #2,

Fuck the three of you and that stupid, "I'm Gon Let it Shine" song. Get a new song. And oh yeah, go lick the third rail. I am now almost completely deaf from having to crank up my iPod to drown you fugly fuckers out.

Dear Goth Chick,

I thought your friend was ugly, with those pork chop sideburns and bad hair, but then I saw you. Black coat? Not bad. Black shirt and skirt? Fine, winter's coming anyway. But slate blue dress socks and Teva sandals? WHAT IN HOLY FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and say that maybe you have some kind of foot injury, but you could have done better than that. Still, I would have killed for a picture of them.
That's all.

3 comments: said...

Whatchu say we form our own subway band?

Chris said...

We'd probably lose money. said...

ur right, i should just stick to being a SOLO subway act lol :-P