In watching all the coverage of the union strike currently paralyzing Braoadway, I can't help but think, in my bitter heart of hearts, "YES!"
Call me cruel, but let's be honest here: Broadway shows are for old people, tourists, and that's pretty much it.
There were a slew of crying, suffering tourists being interviewed on the news the other night, mourning the closing of the show they'd come to see. One wailed as if at a funeral. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to come back!" she howled.
And I thought, "Good. Stay home, then."
"This is awesome," I said to Larry in a fit of joy. "It will keep the tourists off the streets!"
"Actually," he corrected, "They will all be on the streets now."
I frowned and thought about it, eventually concluding, "Yeah, but at least they won't be blocking all the sidewalks while they're killing time before the shows start. And there won't be mass bedlam as they spill out into the streets when the shows end."
Confession: I hate Broadway shows. I've been dragged to enough of them to realize how completely annoying they can be. My favorite shows to hate are:
- Rent (a confusing 2 hours of screaming and yelling, full of forgettable music and characters I prayed would just die already)
- The Producers (did a backflip when this overacting disaster ended, both in the theater and when it stopped playing)
- Grease (never saw it, but the TV show that determined the two stars made me heave and wretch)
But I don't hate all Broadway shows. 42nd Street was awesome because it wasn't trying to be anything but over-the-top, jaw-dropping showmanship. Wicked was incredible just from the singing alone. And Avenue Q was genious in it's ability to offend.
So, as the strike lingers on, I will enjoy being able to walk home from my office in Times Square and not have to shove a clueless tourist with a Lion King playbill out of the way.
Now, if only the massive, ferris wheel enhanced Times Square Toys R Us could be shut down too.