Saturday, December 1, 2007

I Need a Vacation: The Definitive Proof

I'm walking rushing flying across 20th street toward sixth avenue on the way to Barnes and Noble to pick up the only Christmas present I can remember. I have no list yet and no idea what to buy for anyone. This one item is now critical, even though it's not likely to sell out any time soon.

I make a sharp right and encounter a wide, old woman ahead of me, waddling all over the sidewalk (underneath one of those annoying, constricting sidewalk shelters no less). Her advanced age does nothing to quell my impatience as I sigh as loud as possible. "Jesus Christ!" I say, somehow assuming she's also deaf.

Normally, I'd have my iPod on, and any sighing or sniping I make would, at least to me, seem to have zero impact.

Now, with my ears fully open, I hear the results of my impatience.

"I'm sorry, I can't move so fast," apologized the woman. Did I mention she was also holding a cane?

Still pissed at having to manuever around this sidewalk roadblock, I rushed past her. I could have just shut up, but somehow, in my sick little mind, I had to let her have it.

"Well, maybe you should stay home, then," I sniped, racing down the block.

Seriously, one of these days I'm going to get arrested for being a son-of-a-bitch. Keep refreshing the front page of the NY Post. I imagine the headline will read something like: NABBED! NYPD Busts Serial Griper. Prosecutors pushing for electric chair.

5 comments: said...

OMG! lol

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Chris said...

WTF????????? said...

thats brazilian for crescenet is spamming your blog :-P

S* said...

Shame! Shame shame shame on you!