Dear MTA -
I'd like to give you a heads-up about what's happening on your Queens-bound E trains. The bums that are allowed to sleep in them are shitting on the floor, using newspapers to wipe, and leaving said newspapers on the floor as well. And, as if that wasn't bad enough, at least one woman's day got off to a rough start when she stepped right in it and sat down. She was so shocked, she didn't know what else to do but get off the train.
So, you might want to scrub that car down tonight. And yeah, get rid of the MOTHERFUCKING BUMS!