Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Code of the Ceiling


Dear Jackass On Four -

Are you starting trouble again? I hope not. Well, in any event, I've discovered a new weapon to silence you with, and I didn't even have to get out of bed to use it.

The time was 12:11 a.m. With every thump you make, my eyes instinctively go to the clock to see the time out of habit. This is what you've reduced me to. (That and giving you the finger though the ceiling while praying for your quick and painful death).

Seriously, what the hell is it that you do each and every night that requires such frenzied pacing back and forth. Are you working out? Is it part of some kinky foreplay with whatever beast it is that you are currently courting? STOP IT ALREADY!

I was playing with my cat in the bed. His favorite toy is a hard plastic mouse covered in fur, similar to this one. He lives for this thing, so as I shook the rattle inside, you were shaking the ceiling above me, JOF (Jackass On Four).

I tossed the toy straight up in the air, where it hit against the ceiling. I caught it and listened to see if you caught my subtle hint. I did it once more and you stopped completely.

So, this will be our secret little code from now on. One knock means "stop it." Two knocks means "I'm getting mad." Three knocks means, "double lock your fucking door."

Thank you,
Blogger on Three

P.S. - I still hate you (always will) and you run like a four year old girl.

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